Follow through is thine enemy

It's been a couple years since I've shared any stories here. Lots of excuses for stepping away, but what really matters are the two good reasons for coming back: I missed you and I need you.

A friend messaged me out of the blue today, telling me it is the 10 year anniversary of when she attempted to end her life because her marriage ended. She thanked me for being part of her journey and that inspired me to get off the pot and get back to sharing stories that validate and inspire.

Validation is a powerful force. It was something I sought when I first became the victim of infidelity and from talking with so many of you, I have learned that validation is critical to mental health and emotional well-being.

A typical validation request with Rachael.

I have an army of friends I go to for specific validations. For example, I go to Rachael when I need to be reassured that I don't need a man in my life. I go to Yolanda when I need validation for work-based frustration. I go to Tapley and Alex when I need validation that I'm an expert in my career-field. I go to Jen and Mary Ann when I need validation on anything and everything.

And then I have my therapist, who validates how I'm feeling and empowers me with the tools I need to overcome the challenges I'm facing.

Lately, I've been validated even though I haven't been seeking it. This is where the title of this blog story comes into play.

Follow through is thine enemy.

The struggle is real, friends. And hey, how about that supply of tums behind me!!

I have been struggling with follow through for a while now. My roller coaster of a life doesn't help much, but that's an excuse more than anything. My son told me the other day that I need to cut myself some slack, and I have had some friends say almost the same thing to me recently. Specifically, when I asked, "what the hell is wrong with me?" regarding my inability to follow through on my goals, my friend told me that maybe nothing is wrong with me. Both statements, from my friend and my son, were forms of validation I wasn't seeking but that had a powerful impact on me.

Today I had a long talk with my therapist about my struggles with follow through and as always, she helped me identify some methods that can help me. Aside from my typical list system, scheduling specific blocks of time for specific activities is something she recommended. To be honest, that's a much better use of my time than swiping on Tinder (Tinder stories in future blog stories, I promise).

One of my goals since January has been to get this blog going again. I have two accountability and goal partners, Tapley and Heather, who I meet with almost every week and almost every week I report that I've done nothing to get the blog going. I've noted stories I want to write throughout the year, but that was as far as I got. I can't seem to get out of my own way to just get started again. And not just on this blog, but with writing in general.

These morning girls like to go to bed early.

Tonight, seeking quiet and cool air, and also because my dog Fleur insisted on going to bed early, I brought my laptop to my bedroom unsure of what I would actually do when I opened it. I started by opening two manuscripts, then I paused and thought, "you know what, now is a good time to write a blog story."

So here I am, back on the horse. My plan is to share a story every other Tuesday. I have a long list of topics, so coming up with a topic won't be an issue. With any luck, I'll be able to start writing consistently again, and get a book published this year...maybe even the self-help memoir that inspired this blog to begin with.

As ever, I am and I hope you are THRIVING in the aftermath!