Spontaneity is the spice of life

When I was young, I was known for my spontaneity. I lived in the moment and loved any crazy adventure that would make a good memory.

As I got older and ultimately became a mother, I lost the spice of spontaneity. I became a planner and typically had a Plan B and Plan C.

I kind of let responsibility and the need to always be doing something productive take over my life. I mentioned in my last post that my son told me I need to give cut myself some slack. That was exactly the message I needed in the moment I needed it. I have let it echo in my mind since, a reminder that life is short and I need to live a little.

"You need to cut yourself some slack." - My kid

We now refer to me having a beer as having a "happy beer."

So I've been doing just that - cutting myself some slack and making the effort to live a little. A couple weeks ago, I had a dentist appointment in the afternoon. I strategically put on my swimsuit under my riding gear, took a scenic ride home, and grabbed a four pack of my favorite pilsner. When I got home, I stripped in the garage, grabbed a beer, and jumped in the pool. This wasn't spontaneity, it was planned fun. But it was one small step forward.

Then, last week, I got a message from one of my best friends from high school, Tabatha. She asked how I felt about Shania Twain and we soon found out that we both had tickets to the same concert. We hadn't seen each other in 25 years, so I was more than excited to see her again. We met up before the show, I managed to sneak her into our section, and we sang and danced the night away.

"I feel like a woman!" - Shania Twain

She was staying in Meredith for a couple nights, her own well-deserved getaway. I joined her for what was supposed to be an afternoon but ended up being an overnight. 25 years of catching was filled with laughter and memories and even a few tears. This was my young, spontaneous side jumping in the driver's seat and putting the pedal to the metal. I had responsibilities at home, a tote bag design party to get ready for, but I didn't care. Spending time with Tabatha felt like the priority. Responsibility be damned.

It was exactly what I needed and I came home feeling refreshed and energized.

Today, I proudly told my therapist that I am starting to live a little and find joy instead of feeling overwhelmed and letting decision paralysis rule my life. It's a giant leap forward for me, having been stuck in the muck for I don't even now how long. Instead of dwelling on that, I'm opting to keep moving forward, with small steps or big leaps, whatever the moment calls for.

Carpe Diem!