Sunday marked two years since my divorce got the stamp of approval from a judge. Two years. I'm happy to report, it was just another day, like any other.
“Time is the healer of all necessary evils.” -Greek poet Menander
The day might have passed without me even giving it a second thought had a friend not celebrated the first anniversary of her divorce a week earlier. When she celebrated her special day, her day of independence, I thought, well, maybe I should do the same.
Except, I don't care.
Strange thing to say, or maybe it's not. I pride myself on moving forward. I do reflect often, but forward is the only direction in which I choose to move. April 30 is nothing more than a day when some assigned judicial person (I think maybe the judge was a woman, but not sure) signed the papers dissolving our nearly 25 year marriage. For me, the true divorce date was October 9th of the year prior, the 3rd and finally Discovery Day, the day I told him we were getting divorced. What I didn't realize at the time, was that day was our 25th anniversary, the day we took a chance and decided to pursue a romantic relationship.
Divorce is not the path I would have chosen, but now that I'm past it, I'm happy with my life and comfortable with who I am. Divorce was hard. Emotionally, it took a huge toll and I had to do a lot of self-work to heal. I have scars and always will, but the more time that passes, the more they fade.
Financially, divorce was a struggle. I had to do a lot of work there as well. Now, I'm within a year of being debt free and through discipline, education, planning, and discipline, I've been able to buy and do some things that are extra. Did I mention discipline? That is probably the most difficult part and I'm not always a disciplined as I should be, but I'm financially self-dependent.
I am learning, along this journey, that milestones are big deals and stir an array of emotions, and then they fade and become just another day. But (there's always a big, fat but), every day that I keep moving forward is a day worth celebrating. I choose not to celebrate this day as a milestone but as another day where I am growing and healing and becoming a better woman.
girl - you are a warrior.