It is International Women's Day (March 8) when I write this post and today I am celebrating the women who have inspired me to be a better woman and independent.
Let's talk about independence. It means something different for everyone. Today, I'm reflecting what it means to and for me.
Independence does not mean alone or lonely.
First and foremost, independence does not mean alone or lonely. I am neither of those. In the absence of a romantic and life partner, it could be very easy to tumble down a rabbit hole of loneliness. Because of my independence, though, I do not feel lonely at all. I have actually proclaimed this month to be No Man March. I am not jumping back into the dating pool after my recent breakup.
It takes time to learn how to be alone without being lonely, but once you do, it’s called freedom. -Untold Feelings
Second, independence does not mean decisions are easy or made solely on my own. I have an amazing tribe or women who support me and whom I support. When I have to make a difficult or complex decision, I seek guidance from these women. I also recently sought out a therapist because I was struggling with some post-breakup decisions. Sometimes just talking through the struggle helps to identify the path forward. I also seek input from my kids. They are active members of this household. I expect participation from them in regular household activities, and anything that happens in this house impacts them, so I seek their input to important decisions that affect all of us.
My big reflection today is financial independence. In the divorce, I took on all the debt. About a year and a half ago, when I received quite a large tax return and couldn't decide what to do with it (pay off debt, save, or play), I hired a financial coach. My budget was already pretty solid, and I had some goals in place (see A Plan and a Budget). Heather, the coach I hired, helped me understand some better money management and budgeting techniques and I put her suggestions into practice immediately. There have been months when I've questioned if this is helping, but today, with a clear perspective, I saw the evidence.
After reviewing my bills and what needed to be paid, I opted to do a couple things: I paid off my oil budget a month early and I paid extra on my car payment. Even better, I was left with money in the bank. Through discipline, smart decisions, and discipline ( I cannot emphasize enough how much discipline it takes), I am financially independent. I'm not yet where I want to be financially, but I'm on track with my goal of being debt free by 2025. In fact, I'm only 11 months from that goal.
The pictures above are of the white board in my office. It is important to write down your goals, which I did on a different board, but I also wanted to encourage myself and show that I am making progress. Two big debts I have that represent my debt: a 401k loan that automatically takes the payments from my paycheck every two weeks, and a debt management program I enrolled in back in 2019 (in hindsight I wish I hadn't, but live and learn) which is a large monthly payment, automatically withdrawn from a checking account. I'm down to just months left of these debts, at which time I will be able to grow my savings.
I am proud of my independence and it is not something I will ever sacrifice or compromise. What are you doing to celebrate your independence?
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