Three Little Words

"Happy Father's Day."

Should be easy to say, right? I mean, the man blessed me with three amazing kids and that should be celebrated no matter what my feelings are toward him.

But in the wake of divorce, it isn't that easy.

Father's Day is one of those milestones that I listed and planned for, but to date, it has been the most difficult to address. Should I wish him a happy Father's Day, should I ignore it, should I send him the middle finger emoji, should I toss some expletives in his direction?

The big question, do I take the higher road and properly acknowledge him on this day?

I work very hard to take the higher road. I'm not always successful (and that's ok), but I'm always honest and I take full responsibility for my actions or lack thereof.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were easy to ignore because it was so soon after we separated and the wounds were still fresh. Then came my birthday, and he couldn't be bothered to acknowledge that, which to be honest, irritated the hell out of me. It felt like a deliberate jab, because he has always known how important my birthday is to me. So that continued to fester and when Mother's Day rolled around, I didn't expect anything. By that point, our divorce was final; we had just received the divorce decree from the court two days before. To my surprise, he did wish me a Happy Mother's Day.

So now I couldn't follow the example he set on my birthday. I spent a lot of time, probably way too much time, wondering how I would handle this day.

I ensured my kids knew Father's Day was coming. That, without a doubt, is my responsibility as a mother. The kids need to maintain a good relationship with their day and I do my best to facilitate that. So I reminded them all, and the two still at home were reminded more than once. Beyond that, they are old enough to take responsibility for how the celebrate it with their dad.

When the day came around, I made the decision to acknowledge it.

I sent him a few pictures of the kids, three taken a year ago during our last family portrait session and one from when they were cute, little people. And I wrote those three little words, "Happy Father's Day."

If you're not living in the aftermath of betrayal and divorce, this situation might seem trivial, but for me it was a milestone that required much thought so that in the end, I could easily live with the decision I made and not get sucked into the "I should have..." second thoughts.

Gold star to all who have taken the higher road.