A bit of a dark topic this week because of a tragic event that happened last week.
Suicide.
Let me start by saying I have never been down this road. I have friends who have and thankfully they lived to find lighter and happier days. Unfortunately, last Friday a long-time friend took her own life. As of now, no one knows why. She left a note, but her death is under investigation, so the police have not released the note to the family.
Those of us who loved her are left to wonder what drove her to such desperate action, what we could have done to help her in her darkest time, why she thought this was the only solution...
What I want you to know, no matter how dark your days are, how dire life may seem, how much it hurts, you are never alone. It will get better. There is help. People love and need you. The world needs you.
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. THE WORLD NEEDS YOU.
In doing research for my book in progress, Thriving in the Aftermath, I interviewed Claire, who survived her husband's cheating not just once, but twice over the course of their 18 years together. The second time, hurt and desperate, she tried to take her own life. She was saved, which even the doctors said was a miracle. They didn't expect her to live. But she did, and now she is finding her way in the world. For that I, along with countless others, are grateful.
Being betrayed by the person you trust more than anyone else in the world is devastating. In my first blog post, I wrote "Divorce is a loss, like death, and you have to mourn it and all the milestones that surround it." Even if you don't get divorced after your partner has cheated, your relationship as you knew it did end, and you have to start down a new road to heal (and reconnect if you choose to stay together). It is hard. There is a a lot of hurt to work through. Sometimes that hurt can send us down a very dark and desperate road.
I know when someone is contemplating suicide, logic no longer plays a role. That person is convinced that the people they love will be better without them, that the only way to make the pain stop is to die. That there is no hope. But...
THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE...ALWAYS
Talk to someone. If that someone doesn't give you what you need, talk to someone else. Call your doctor, call 911, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. Please, pick up the phone and call.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 800-273-8255
My friend who died last Friday was a beautiful light on even the darkest days. She was always calm and diplomatic. While I appreciated and valued her calm approach to difficult situations, she reciprocated by valuing my blunt and direct approach. We were very much opposites, but somehow that connected us.
She was a teacher, served in the Peace Corps, and genuinely cared about people. All people. She was culturally aware and sympathetic. I never heard her utter an unkind word. She was inspiring and often, just her presence, challenged me to be a better person.
She loved to mix up her jewelry...her earrings and necklace never matched exactly, but coordinated beautifully. Ever since I learned that about her so many years ago, she always comes to mind and brings a smile to my face when I try to coordinate my jewelry. I have always been an exact matcher, but sometimes, I like mix it up like she always did.
She had the most beautiful smile and that will live on in my heart forever.
I know that I, along with all of her friends, her husband, her mother, her brother, and every person she touched in her 50+ years in this world will forever miss her.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 800-273-8255
Beautiful tribute to a beautiful person.